I’m having a relapse

It started a week ago after a lovely day out. I did a lot of walking and a fair bit of standing around watching a local event and after arriving home my body just seemed to go into melt down. I felt completely exhausted and unable to concentrate on the telly I was watching

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Then the pain kicked in. The MS Hug.

That horrible feeling of being squeezed and for me like I’ve been punched in the ribs.

I gave in and went off to bed early and had a fitful nights sleep waking several times in pain. The next day more MS symptoms arrived. My lower legs feeling like they are encased in concrete boots, balance unsteady and a brain confused by even the simplest tasks. Trying to use the microwave or reading an article in a magazine feels like you have to wade through a thick mist to try and understand what you’re doing. My head feels like a snow globe that’s been turned upside down and given a good shake and now all the bits are trying to settle back down to where they should be.

That night it took a long time to get off to sleep because although my body was boiling hot, my feet were freezing! I’m lying there thinking, come on body sort yourself out, this is just weird.

The third day and things are starting to settle a bit. The MS Hug comes and goes, various spasms in my right leg come and go but at least I’m up and dressed and functioning even if it is only at approx 50% I managed to get to my hair appointment and make basic conversation with my hairdresser but I felt totally wiped out again later in the day.

A full week later and I’m still struggling with a whole bunch of MS stuff affecting my body and crossing my fingers that this ride isn’t going to get a whole lot rougher.

Oh and writing a Blog with MS all I can say is thank God for spell check!

No more injections!

So from today I am no longer on the disease modifying drug Avonex!

Blood tests revealed that I have developed anti bodies which will significantly reduce the effect of the beta interferon Avonex  so no more injections. No need for the sharps box , ice packs and the plasters.

That’s it. Two and a half years of injecting myself every week, and now it’s finished. That chapter closed.

I’m not sure how I feel about that. Have I wasted two and a half years using a drug that has made no difference to my MS or has it all been a rip roaring success? I have absolutely no idea. The truth is that I have had only one relatively mild relapse in that time period and given all the stress that I had to cope with in that time frame, that is quite frankly amazing.

Now I feel a bit like a small boat that’s slipped its mooring. Will it stay in the safe shallow waters near the shore or will it drift out to sea?

 I can only cross my fingers and wait and see what happens......

Easter Time March 2013 and I’m doing OK

  

It’s hard to stay positive in life, but for people with MS it’s an extra struggle as we are dealing with that unexpected feeling of resentment or loss towards ourselves.

It resurfaced for me again this Easter weekend as I was trying to do all the bits and bobs at home, cleaning and tidying and starting to prepare a lovely roast dinner for visiting family. I just ended up stressed and in tears one morning (feeling exhausted and annoyed with myself) because yet again I have to accept and ask for help from my lovely fella because my capacity to keep going and get things done is simply not there.

But..... I didn’t allow it to envelope me and having shed a few tears I calmed down and thought to myself “ it really doesn’t matter if we haven’t hoovered the whole house or used frozen not fresh roast potatoes for the dinner”

The important thing is enjoying time with my family and yes that includes letting the kids eat far too many chocolate eggs. We did manage to play a noisy game of Charades and watched a few family films and when the visitors left we even had an alcoholic beverage or two one evening.

So I have had a happy Easter and I’m now going to eat the rest of my Lindt Chocolate bunny.