Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day..................
I haven’t been blogging for quite a while and this isn’t a happy, positive piece but I felt the need to write again and vent my feelings as the year comes to an end. That’s what November feels like nowadays as Christmas on the high street is getting into full swing and the adverts on the Telly start to take on that festive feel.
Unfortunately this is another blog entry on the subject of pain as this is my ongoing problem with MS this year. I did have a few months in the summer without it but as the year draws to an end I am again dealing with muscle pain.
It is very hard to keep positive when every day you wake up with varying degrees of pain or discomfort and a real lack of energy. I can’t remember that feeling of getting up and out of bed in the morning, bright and alert, ready for the day to begin.
I have always been a morning person (much to the annoyance of family and friends around me) being fully awake and alert from the minute I opened my eyes. Actually that isn’t completely truthful. There were the teenage years where breakfast was often eaten nearer lunchtime, but since my kids arrived the sleeping in disappeared (along with never finishing a cuppa) and I became one of those ‘morning people’.
But.......... I am no longer a morning person. I now wake up feeling tired and usually in some sort of pain.
This year MS has taken a toll on me. Today I have back pain, jelly legs (wobbly, shaky feeling) and the on/off burning pain in my ankle and one numb finger. That is today’s collection, tomorrow it could be more or less but there will be some pain or a feeling of utter exhaustion. There is always a collection of bits and pieces of my body letting me down. Some days I just want to stay under the duvet and hide but I have two kids that need attention (lunch boxes, PE bags, uniform etc) and although my fella is wonderful and very practical, I still need to be a part of family life.
I’m so fed up of feeling rubbish all the time. There I said it!
MS Sucks!
Moan over.
